Avoid cohabitating too soon in a new relationship.
New relationships are a part of life. But they can influence the relative strength of your child custody position.
Many custody problems arise when one parent leaves another for a new paramour. The one parent often perceives this as a marital or relationship issue, and will simply oppose the new person on those grounds alone. Of course how you accomplish this is important, as we will see below.
If you are already separated, and then meet someone new, the other parent will again often oppose the partner. This is particularly true where the relationship / divorce issues have not been resolved. Again, how to accomplish this, and how you go about it can change the custody situation.
Obviously no custody court is going to deny a parent a new paramour or spouse. But the how, when, and where of the new relationship can influence your custody position.
Moving out of one relationship and directly into another is not considered best for the children. Often lawyers see clients who have left one person and moved in directly with another, to start their "new" relationship. This implicates stability, and may expose the child to an adult influence that is not well known to either of the child's parents.
A good example is where a man leaves his wife, and three weeks later moves in with a coworker, who is a single mom with two kids of her own. While the ex wife to be may be very upset in general about the relationship and loss of a husband, she will have plenty of logical and sound arguments for the custody courts. She will argue that dad hardly knows the new woman in any meaningful way, that the quick move was disruptive to the children. Further the new children add additional uncertainty. What if one turns out to be a behavioral nightmare and routinely bullies the new kid in the household?
Also, getting to know the new person very well, before cohabitating can prevent a lot of surprises. We have seen cases where the new paramour is later found to have a significant criminal record, or is even a registered offender, and that will hurt your custody case.
Courts will look to see if you checked the new person out carefully, and entered your new relationship with your children's best interest at heart. It is possible to choose a partner who will cause you to lose your custody! So carefully and slowly entering into the new relationship is your best course of action. Taking time before cohabitation will show the court that it is about the children not the new paramour.
In summary, if possible, finding a work schedule that maximizes time with your child, will maximize your position in a custody case.
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TIP #5 - Find and keep stability in all aspects of your life.
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