Put the children’s needs above the custody fight. Putting the child's needs first is the simplest and easiest way to convince the court that you are the more fit parent. It is simple in theory, and doesn't take much thought. Until emotions get involved, and then people sometimes forget to stop and look at what the child needs, not what might make the other parents life more difficult. If dad signs junior up for wrestling, and forgets to consult mom, the immature thing to do is to refuse to take the child to wrestling. After all he didn't follow he rules, and shouldn't be rewarded for it. And further it shows his disrespect for mom by failing to consult her about her schedule and whether she approves of wrestling. Of course, the fact that junior wants to wrestle, has an aptitude for it, and actually enjoys it, might be something our hypothetical mom should consider. She certainly should remind father, with a letter, or best, through counsel, that some consultation would have been appreciated. But why ruin the child's new endeavor? The only valid reason would be a true safety issue. So a good parent wouldn't interfere at this, and would let wrestling run its course. Now if a parent persistently ignores the wishes of the other parent or fails to consult the other parent about matters pertaining to custody, you should seek your legal remedies. That is to say, that if it happens once, politely remind, and if it happens thrice, well then perhaps a visit with the custody judge or conciliator is in order. So remember, don't deny the child a trip to disney world, or something they should or could do, simply to frustrate the other parent. If a court thinks you are manipulating the situation to frustrate the other parent, that alone could be a basis for switching custody. Showing a court you put the child ahead of the litigation or custody fight shows the judge that you are a fit parent. So in the future, evaluate your position before you act. Are you acting out of frustration with the other parent? If so, step back and be sure your decision is in the child's best interest. If it is, then proceed. If not, let it go, but document what the other parent did with your counsel. Did you know that it is possible to find a custody attorney online? TIP #8 - Don’t involve the children in the custody fight.
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Use our Free Child Custody resources to learn more. Each article or vignette was prepared by an attorney, and explains some general strategies and ideas for parents with custody issues. Of course all 50 states have different laws and ways of applying the principles of child custody, so you should familiarize yourself with your state's particular custody laws and rules. |
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Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (1997) (original text)
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